Archive for June, 2010

Day 150: Signs

Last night was weird. Walking around the city at night, just wasting time, felt really odd. I got that feeling like I’m in a movie. Ate my dinner at Union Square park, then had my session with Sherri. Last one next Tuesday.

Anyway, today I have the cold read intensive with Jamibeth Margolis. We have to do a short monologue before we get our sides, and I’m going to do one from 30 Rock. Kinda excited about it, since I love this one, and I may bring it into the rotation if it goes well.

Trying to learn some lines from the shows, little by little. I get easily distracted when I’m trying to do something tedious like that, so I’m having a hard time.

I can’t even write a whole thing right now, since I’m feeling so ADD. Oh well.

Wish me luck tonight, I’ll let you know how it goes.




Day 149: Serendipity

Had my mini-coaching session with Betsy Capes from Capes Coaching last night. I went over with her my plans for the summer into the fall, and she thought I was definitely on the right track. A problem that I discussed with her was time management (a topic that we just went over in the Artists in Action program), and how with my job and now the 2 shows, I don’t have a lot of time to myself, and when I get some, I tend to just go home and crash instead of using it. Betsy suggested that I try to let something fall to the side during this time, and I figured that during the show, I don’t need to go to The Network (except of course, for the cold-reading workshop with Jamibeth Margolis TOMORROW). Also, to commit to the gym only for 2-3 times a week, so I don’t beat myself up for not being able to go more often. She thought that one weekday and one weekend day would be a great goal to shoot for, and I agree. And since Betsy is all about accountability, she offered to be mine. I’m going to email her for the next 2 weeks on my gym progress. I really enjoy Betsy’s energy and what she’s doing for artists, and I’m glad I ran into this program. Plus, it leads to other good things. I’m going to be looking into another resource that they have recommended for money management. All good.

Anyway. Tonight I have a session with my therapist to make up for the meetings we’ve been missing the last 2 weeks (poo). So when I get home, I’m going to chill, meditate, and get my stuff together for the workshop with Jamibeth. Come on universe, you’ve been telling me to meet her, so here I go!



Had a really nice weekend with the boyfriend, very lazy. I got sick on Saturday night (must’ve been something I ate), but i was fine on Sunday. Oh well.

So this week, we are off from rehearsals, so I’m gonna have a lot of time to go over lines and get a lot of them down. I don’t know if it’s a good idea to just try to learn the lines and then add in the accent later, or try to learn them with the accent from the get-go. I suppose I’ll just have to try both and see what works.

Ooh, I just got really tired all of a sudden. Poo…

Anyway, I am doing some really boring work right now on my finances, as suggested by Capes Coaching. I’m doing a profit/loss worksheet for myself for the last 6 months. It’s not entirely accurate, since sometimes things cleared the bank a little later than usual, and so I did have money for it, and the loss compounds. Whereas in another month, the check didn’t clear at all, and I have a larger profit than actually occurred. Oh well. But it’s a good habit to start now, and hopefully once all this work is done, it’ll be easier to do it month to month.

I have a mini-coaching session tonight with Capes, 20 minutes for 20 bucks. I’ll let you know how it goes.



Last night was the first rehearsal for Queen’s Privy. Man, this is one dirty, disturbing show. At least it will be when we’re done with it. 🙂 Oh man, I am scandalized! But seriously, as challenging as this piece promises to be, I know we’re gonna have a blast, and hopefully the audience (if they have a good sense of humor) will too. Now I have to work on a standard RP british accent. Yikes. Oh well, guess I’d have to do it eventually.

So, today is the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death. It’s poignant for me, because I can remember how legitimately upset I was. And not just sad, but in absolute awe of the effect this man seemingly had on the world. For all the scandal and jokes, I can’t think of one person who has attained the level of icon status that he did. A complex icon, that inspired so many different kinds of reactions from people. Reviled, adored, mistrusted, pitied, derided and worshipped. I can’t help but stand back and look at the life he led, at least the parts of it that have been made public, and feel sorry for him. To have his childhood taken from him, exposed to the seedy parts of life before he should’ve been, the media always hounding him, becoming the world’s most succesful entertainer, and looking to his fans for the love he never got as a child. I don’t know if I believe that he was a child molester, but I do believe that if he was, there would be a concise and transparent course that brought him there.

When he died, I was in utter shock. This was one of those people who I thought would always be around. To have him disappear like that – so unexpectedly, so mysteriously – smacked me in the face with a brick. And I cried, like a little kid, because that’s the part of me he reminded me of. I was too young to remember when he was in his prime, but I do remember him before all the scandals hit. Even after they did, I was too young to understand what they really meant. I just knew that I loved his music, and that was enough for me. That never changed for me. I never had a moment where I thought “He’s messed up in the head, I don’t like him anymore.” I acknowledged his struggles, and kept dancing. When he died, I felt the loss of another piece of my childhood.

Someone I hung out with that night didn’t really understand why I was upset, as I obviously didn’t know him personally. That’s true, I didn’t. But I knew the Michael that was a part of me, that I had imagined in my head when I used to listen to Bad over and over and over. I knew the Michael that had sung what I was feeling. That Michael was dead now, and that provided further proof that I am not, in fact, a kid anymore. One more reminder that childish things must all pass away. I was upset, dammit.  I actually felt sorry for the person who didn’t have at least some small reaction to what happened.

Today is the reminder that time goes on, inevitably. Even after such an event, when a part of who we used to be dies, we don’t actually lose it. It is still there inside us, in a new way. We don’t lose who we were as children, not really. We are still now who we were back then. Even though that part of my childhood has left this earth, he still is a part of me.

And it also reminds me that it has been a year since I saw or spoke to that particular person, the one who didn’t care that Michael Jackson had died. And honestly, why would I want to associate with such a person? I think that was a pretty definitive sign that said individual was dead inside, and didn’t deserve my attention. 🙂

So, listen to some good MJ tunes today, and remember who you were back when you first heard them. Cuz you’re still that person.

Everyday creates your history-


Day 144: Phew

Rehearsals have been going well, I’ve had a lot of fun with everybody. I’m so excited to get back in the game, and that I’m fortunate enough to be a part of these particular shows. I think it’s gonna be hysterical, and hopefully advantageous for me. 🙂

Tonight we start rehearsing the late night show, The Queen’s Privy. This is gonna be the more challenging of the 2 shows, as the language is over-the-top Elizabethan, rife with made up words and expressions. I have a good deal of lines, and I sing in a few numbers… I’m gonna have to really put all my cognitive abilities to good use with this one, and use next week to really cram. I’ve never had to learn more than one show at a time, but I know that this is a common thing for actors to have to do, so it’s good that I’m getting some exposure. I’m just NERVOUS!

Anyway, I am hungry. But at least I’m not bored.



Day 143: Toxic

Last night was my first rehearsal for The Great Pig Robbery! We rehearsed at The Shooting Star Theater, which is down by the South Street Seaport. Man that’s a cute little neighborhood, i kinda wish I could live there. There was even a cute doggy daycare right next door for me to stare at and go nuts for. Anyway, my director, Kenny Wade Marshall, is extremely friendly (he gave me a hug as soon as I walked in the door). And as a director, he really appreciates feedback and ideas from his cast. We were blocking the scene directly after my big solo, which is a confrontation between myself and the other main character… without getting too into plot details (wanna keep that a surprise), it’s going to be a big slapstick-ridiculous-shitstorm. So far, it seems like the other cast members are really talented, and we’re gonna have a lot of fun. I got let out early, as Kenny wanted to go back and block the beginning, before I enter. Another rehearsal for this piece tonight (at a thankfully more accessable location), and then Thursday is Queen’s Privy (which I am nervous about, for a few reasons).

Anyway, I’m really exctied to get back into the swing of things, especially with such a cool production, and at a festival that is apparently well attended. Yay.

Still haven’t heard back about that Fringe piece, so I have to assume that there was a conflict with Fringe and Cringe. Of course, considering my recent luck, perhaps it’s too early to judge.

Anyway, life is good.



Day 142: Gladiator

It’s so funny, I got offered the parts in the CringeFest last week, long after I had assumed I hadn’t been cast. And just yesterday, I got an email inviting me to a callback audition for Archie and Mehitabel, which I auditioned for back in April! And THEN, I got an email inviting me to audition for a musical at Fringe NYC. I don’t know if that one will work out, but we’ll see. It made me laugh a little, and I guess it proves that in this business, you never know.

Anyway, the gym last night was good, it felt nice to get back into the swing of things. I’m going to have to figure out a routine for the month of July, while rehearsals for both shows keep me out of the gym for a few days.

Tonight is the first rehearsal for CringeFest, and I’m excited to get to work! Updates tomorrow.



Oh man. Back at work.

That was a great vacation. It felt fast and slow at the same time. We all had so much fun. Went to a ballgame, watched the Tony’s (whooah, that was a mess), re-celebrated my birthday, ate fantastic food, discovered new restaurants, shopped, celebrated my sister’s birthday, ate fondue, drove around, went to the dog park, swam in the pool, and generally chilled. It was really great to be home, and now I’m back. Reluctantly. I wish that vacation feeling was actually sustainable.

ANYWAY. NEWS. Remember when I auditioned for the International Cringefest a few weeks ago? Well, I didn’t hear anything at the time, so I put it out of my head. Then, on my vacation, I got a call from director/actor Kenny Wade Marshall, offering me 2 roles in 2 of the musicals he’s directing for the festival! I’ll be playing Mavis in The Great Pig Robbery, and Elaine in The Queen’s Privy (one of the late night, dirty shows). YAY! Finally! The shows run like this: The Great Pig Robbery will play July 20th, July 28th, and August 2nd at 8pm, and August 7th at 5pm. Queen’s Privy will play July 24th, July 31st, and August 7th at 10:30pm, and August 8th at 5pm. All shows will be in The Grand Theater at The Producer’s Club.  Rehearsals start tomorrow!

That’s the update for today. Wish me strength to get through this first day back.



I packed up my bag, I took care of everything i needed to take care of at home, packed my suitcase and lugged it to the train station, so that I could head straight over to my boyfriend’s place after work. Then on the train, I realized that I left my Zune at home. I am le screwed. Now I have to haul this bag BACK to my apartment so I can get the mp3 player, then haul it out to Flushing, effectively invalidating all the work I did last night and this morning to make that unnecessary.

Anyway. Zumba last night wasn’t so bad, I think that’s because the heat was (inexplicably) on, and I actually worked up a little sweat. Stupid pansy women, with their overhead fans. You came here to the gym to work out, not dance around a little and be fanned like Cleopatra. You should be here to SWEAT. If you’re not planning on messing yourself up, then get the HELL off the floor, and go home. Dumbass broads. (this really pisses me off, can you tell?) If I ever become a trainer, I’m gonna be mean. Not even about how many reps people do, or how low they bend their knees, but about wasting time and effort. I hate it when ladies talk all through class, or can’t seem to follow the movement on the beat, or just don’t even make a concerted effort to perform the movement. I get it that there are different fitness levels, and not everyone is at the level I’m at (and I’m still not the hardest worker I’ve seen. Sometimes the knees just give out on me). But TRY, dammit. That’s the only way you get better, and the only way you’ll ever see any difference in your body. If you just stand there, switching your weight from foot to foot, lifting your arms slightly every once and a while (there’s an old lady at my gym who does this. It would be pathetic if it wasn’t so angering. IF YOU CAN’T WORK OUT, GO HOME), you’re not going to see any results. You might as well go home and feed your cats. Cuz I know you have more than one.

AAAAANYway, today is the last day before my vacation. EEEEEEEEEEE. 24 hours from now, I will be just about there. Thank god. I probably won’t be posting while I’m gone (I know you’ll miss me ever so much), so I guess I’ll write about it when I get back. Hope you have as good a week as I’m about to have!



Seriously! I’m leaving for Phoenix on Saturday morning, and the week is just draaaaaagggggging…

Anyway. Gym last night was good, Betzy taught a new class my gym will be offering in the fall. I couldn’t quite catch the name of it, but it sounded something like “KoGa.” At least that’s what I think it is, since it is a combination of kickboxing and yoga. It was some light kickboxing, with some basic yoga stretches. I liked it a lot, especially since I’m considering going to the yoga studio near my new apartment when my gym membership expires in August. It did bring to my attention that my knee problems might be an issue in yoga, what with all the bending. We’ll have to see.

It’s funny, I was thinking about how often I see people I know from my personal life in ads or in some other public presentation. Most people might live their entire lives never seeing someone they know that way, maybe becoming excited at seeing a friend or family member in the background of a live newscast. But as an actor, this is pretty magnified. I went to school with Max Crumm, who won the reality show “You’re the One That I Want.” His face was everywhere in New York, and even on the metro-north line. I had to walk by giant posters of the kid everyday (and he’s going to be in Easy A, with his friend Emma Stone)… strange. I actually went to school with at least 3 people (that I know of) that were on reality shows of some kind. I’ve just become aware that a kid I went to middle school with, D.C. Pierson, is now a member of Derrick, the comedy team, and is getting a lot of good press about the movie they made, Mystery Team, as well as seeing him on a commercial a few months ago. I mean, I talked to that kid all the time in 7th grade! We sat next to each other in Rattler Band, playing the alto sax. I also just saw my friend Jennifer Fouche in Time Out New York, for a review of her show with The Amoralists. I know 2 people who’re in Hair, in London and New York… It’s a weird position to be in, as an actor. Constantly surrounded by images of people you know, but other people just see them as their public selves. In a picture, in a movie, on TV, in a magazine, on the side of a bus… These are people I know. It’s like being in on a secret. And being really jealous about it. 🙂